I can’t believe I’m even writing this. Seven years ago, I was holding a newborn and wondering how anyone does this whole “dad” thing. Now, my wife and I are getting ready for our third. It goes fast.
Everyone tells you that, but you never really believe it until you look up and realize your baby is riding a bike, correcting your grammar, or asking questions that make you pause before answering.
Seven years in, here’s what I know for sure.
1. It Goes Way Too Fast
You blink and they’ve changed. The nights feel long, but the years? They vanish. I still remember thinking I’d never sleep again, that my life was permanently on pause.
But now my seven-year-old is sixty pounds and half my height, and I honestly don’t know when the last time I carried him was. No one ever tells you when the last backyard game with your neighborhood crew happens. It’s the same with holding your kids. One day it’s just… the last time, and you don’t realize it until much later.
Don’t rush through the hard parts. Don’t wish for the next stage. Soak in the one you’re in, even if it’s messy, loud, and exhausting. Because it’s quietly slipping away while you’re busy trying to survive it.
2. Kids Are Amazing Teachers
I thought parenting was about what I would teach them. Turns out, it’s the opposite. Kids are little mirrors. They reflect your best traits and your worst habits. They remind you to slow down, to laugh at dumb jokes, to actually watch the sunset instead of just snapping a picture of it.
They’ll humble you, test you, and somehow make you better without ever saying a word.
3. Change Comes From Wanting, Not Needing
I’ve changed, not because I was forced to, but because I wanted to. Kids don’t demand perfection. They demand presence (a lot of it). And that quietly forces you to grow up in the best way possible.
I care more about patience now (and the pursuit of it). About legacy. About how I show up. Parenthood doesn’t rewrite who you are; it refines it.
4. The Connection Takes Time
It took me until my kids were around two to feel like a real dad. The love was always there, but the connection changed. At first, it’s survival mode. You’re tired, confused, and mostly wondering if you’re doing any of it right. But then one day, they say “Daddy,” or reach for your hand, or tell you they love you out of nowhere, and it clicks.
It’s not instant for everyone, and that’s okay. The bond grows with time, not just proximity.
5. Some Days Are Really Hard
There are days when parenting feels like the heaviest weight in the world. You’ll lose your patience, question yourself, and wonder what happened to the version of life that felt simpler. And that’s normal. Sometimes I look back at life before kids, not out of regret, but curiosity. Who was that guy who had time to think, sleep, and shower in peace?
Here’s the truth: life didn’t get easier, but it did get richer. Every hard day is still a day with your kid in it. That perspective helps.
6. Take a Breath. They’re Clueless.
Kids don’t know what they don’t know. They’re figuring it out as they go, just like we are. When they spill, cry, lie, or melt down, it’s not personal. It’s human.
Take a breath. Remember they’re learning how to be people. And we’re learning how to be parents. Grace goes both ways.
7. It’s an Honor
Parenting isn’t just a job. It’s an honor. We get to shape these tiny humans. We get to model how to love, how to fail, how to get back up. That’s heavy, sure, but it’s also incredible.
Our kids won’t remember every toy or trip. They’ll remember how we made them feel. That’s the real work.
The Takeaway
Seven years in, I don’t have all the answers. Some days I feel like I’m crushing it; others, like I’m one tantrum away from a breakdown.
But I do know this: fatherhood isn’t about being perfect. It’s about wanting to be the best dad you can be. So take the photo. Read the book twice. Be the calm in the storm.
It’s going fast. Don’t miss the good stuff trying to get to the next thing. Easier said than done, but definitely something to strive for.
