If you’re in the “Oh, Guinness is too dark and heavy” camp then it’s time to rethink your position.

Here’s why. Plus: don’t forget to scroll to the bottom to learn to pour Guinness like a pro for your next party trick.

1. A 12oz Serving of Guinness is 125 Calories. A “Full” 14.9oz Can is ~150 Calories.

For perspective, a 12oz can of Bud Light is 100 calories.

If you’re not at the age where calories matter, then you might be too young to be a dad.

For me, when I’m drinking beer, I like to sling a couple or so. Worrying about how a 500 calorie IPA is going to ruin my body isn’t enjoyable.

This is truly a light beer that doesn’t taste like piss.

2. It’s 4.2% ABV

Bud Light — again for comparison — is 4.2% ABV. You can have a couple without causing another feud at your next family event.

3. It’s Easier on your Stomach

Believe it or not, because Guinness is Nitrogenated (as opposed to carbonated with CO2) it’s easier on your stomach.

Less gas. Less bloating. Less heartburn.

Yeah, I’ll have another.

4. It’s Tasty

Don’t let its appearance fool you. It’s not overly “dark” tasting — like that Imperial Stout that ruined your bachelor party — and it’s not “heavy.” It kills me when people call it “heavy.”

It’s an easy drink.

Expect roasted barley, fresh coffee grounds, and dark chocolate, with faint hints of biscuit, smoke, and toffee. But don’t over think it.

5. It’s Historic and Revolutionary

Guinness is nearly 265 years old — the same age as your dad jokes.

It used to be served from a cask (beer in a wood barrel naturally carbonated). The invention of Nitrogenation replicated the “cask ale” experience, while keeping the beer fresh.

To send that beer worldwide they invented a nitro widget can, which fun fact, was named the best invention in the world in the 90’s. Beating the invention of internet.

6. It’s Reliable

You can get it anywhere.

It works with every occasion. Pocket beers while Trick or Treating, a backyard brawl, or a fancy dinner.

7. The Merch Rocks

Guinness has owned the beer merch game. Their online store never fails to deliver, and they’re regularly partnering with cool brands for one-offs.

I’ve worn out my dad hat and rugby jersey from them.

Pour Like a Pro

45 degrees, at your mom’s house. No. No … everyone’s wrong.

Here’s how you actually pour a Guinness.

Buy the cans, and with the standard, 14.9oz nitro can:

  1. Crack it and listen for the nitro widget to release
  2. Wait a second.
  3. Grab a 16oz glass or larger. I prefer a 20oz Imperial Nonic Pint glass.
  4. Put the glass on top of the can, all the way.
  5. Flip and put the glass on the table and slowly move your can of Guinness up until it’s all in the glass

If you’re doing it right, you can do it with one hand while holding your kid or chiming in on a Zoom call.

A Quick Demo

Sorry for the crudity of this video. Everything else on the internet sucks.

This does two things:

  1. Helps the nitrogen cascade and create that famous velvety texture.
  2. And looks cool as hell.

And by the way, please drink responsibly.